User:Ghost orm

Ghost Orm is an active serving member of EVE University and it's Personnel Department, working as a Senior Personnel Officer]

About Ghost

Ghost Orm knew just about nothing about EVE when he joined E-Uni. Some say that statement is still true to this day. He found himself drifting from bar to bar until one day decided he should try and make something of his life. He'd heard of E-Uni and did some research. He was convinced if he was to make a reputation for himself in EVE, then this would be the place to do it. So he applied for membership. (Editors note : Actually Ghost was drawn to E-Uni by the abundance of attractive female staff profile portraits seen there. Imagine his horror when he heard them on voice comms and realised that 99% of them were actually guys. He consequently felt cheap, used and violated. An accurate epitaph if ever there was one and probably the nicest thing ever said about him. Rumour has it he is still scouring the EVE Universe & Marketplace for some ancient Jove invention that indicates just who is and isn't a real chick to this day!)

One Saturday evening he was alerted to a private conversation in which somehow he managed to convince his interrogator that he was the right person for E-Uni as he slyly hid his stolen Goon Membership card in his back pocket. Before he knew it, he was accepted!! He packed up his belongings in plastic Lidl bags and flew off to Aldrat. Amongst his most infamous early outbursts were squealing like a girl when he was ganked in low-sec by bad guys having the sheer audacity to pod him! I mean, really?! He then whined incessently about this injustice to Neville Smit, who reportedly put a kill order out on Ghost just to get him to STFU. The next few weeks weren't much better. Ghost was becoming incredibly proficient in losing ships ineptly, and it was being suggested around the corridors of power at Aldrat that Ghost was an ideal candidate to develop a new EVE Uni Course, A Dummies Guide to How To Lose at PvP. (Editors note : in his defence, Ghost didn't technically "lose" his ships, as he knew which part of the galaxy all 37 billion pieces of atomised metal that used to resemble one of his ships were located. Also in his defence, there was a malfunction of his PodSaver on every occasion). Still traumatised by the profile portraits and pathetically comical killed board, Ghost resorted to spending much of his early Uni career lurking in asteroid belts watching girls go by, trying to spot any real women, but he became quickly disillusioned as that task was virtually impossible to achieve without challenging every good looking passer-by to a Mumble Duel. With no luck whatsoever, he heard rumours about an upcoming Operation. He told his colleagues that he'd assist hunting down Whores around the galaxy. This unfortunately backfired though as Ghost was apparantly meant to be concentrating on killing War Targets instead of scouring the dark corridors of Aldrat!

In sheer desperation, and in need of a hug and cookie from the much feared Evil Cookie Lady (which actually ended up in a court case for improper and inappropriate behaviour and a perma-ban on cookies), he was press ganged into Service in the Personnel Department and his Undock Button was forcibly removed from all his ships. Somehow he managed to convince Laura of his worth. This obviously gave people the wrong impression that he knew what he was doing and was reasonably (in)competant. He was subsequently given a mop and broom and taken in chains to the PO Dept Office. He attacked the job with gusto, and soon the PO Dept floors were the shiniest in all of Aldrat. He began to hear whipers of concern around the department about their arch nemesis known only as "The Queue" who was proving to be a definitive threat to the Dept. Ghost overheard a few hushed conversations taking place in bars and brothels around the base and a plan was hatched to take on the mighty Queue.

This actually turned into Ghost's proudest moment so far in EVE to date, when along with some of his esteemed PO friends & colleagues, in particular Elvis and The Ulf, were awarded the EVE University Service Medal of Excellence for being part of an elite E-Uni PO Dept Special Ops Stealth Ninja Hit Squad that decimated "The Queue" from 3 weeks to 24 hrs in less that 12 days.

However Ghost and Elvis then began to consequently whine like girls because there was now too little work to do afterwards and certainly not enough for them to train newbro POs. (Editor's Note: Just can't please some people eh?) Elvis in fact became so disillusioned and mentally unstable that he started to plot a Coup and began a mini rebellion in the PO Dept by forcing unwary serving and new POs into downloading contraband software and holding meetings in strange woods and lands of mythical magic and sorcery, more commonly known to mortals as the dreaded World of Warcraft. (Editor's Note: WoW - A game for Girls!) Desperate to stop the constant whining, PO Management decided to take desperate measures and increase their workload and promote Ghost, Elvis & The Ulf to a Senior Personnel Officer role, hoping this would have the desired effect. It didn't. However, Ghost was shocked and horrified that Elvis was gradually increasing his Army of Darkness, led by The Evil Turtle and even The Ulf had been brainwashed to attend these satanic meetings. {Editor's Note: Rumours that these satanic gatherings are sanctioned by the Director of HR himself are totally unjustified and false - honestly (ish)!)

One night when scrounging for crumbs left over from everyone else's cookies, Ghost found the key to the drawer containing the staff Undock Buttons. He cackled with glee as he took the key and launched out the airlock, an evil glint in his eye. He soon found an innocent target to vent his frustration but became confused at his inability to target lock and kill it until he realised that in his rush for freedom, he'd actually boarded his Pod and not a shiny combat vessel. So to restore some street cred he orbitted the concerned ship and waved before re-docking. Ghost quickly destroyed all evidence of PodGate by erasing it from the onboard flght recorder. After praying no-one had noticed, he reshipped and started to learn some PvP tips from exasperated colleagues and found himself regularly used as target practice as a result.

Yet again, soon enough dark clouds were appearing on the horizon (not that anyone could see them as it was always pitch black outside!) and soon the Evil Hordes were lining up to attack E-Uni in force and Ghost felt that now was his time to shine. Amazingly enough, after miniutes and minutes of training, Ghost joined Operation Fortress but obviously gave the false impression that he was an accomplished EWAR/ECM pilot that likes nothing more than jamming the cr*p out of his targets whilst his fleetmates blow them to hell and back. Well that's the theory anyway. (Just don't mention the gate camp bust that was an epic fail!) Irresepectively, Ghost would whine, moan & bitch if he was not added to any kill mail that he was in the vicinity of 300M AU of. That said, his legitmate kills and assists soon mounted. Could it be true that Ghost WAS actually semi-competant-ish at EWAR after all?! (Editor's Note: Ha!! No chance!)

This phenomena was backed by a strange and unheard of occurrance. Ghost, along with other brave defenders of the Uni, was awarded a combat medal ... The EVE University Silver Cross no less. (Rumours that he stole it off an exotic dancer are grossly unfair and exaggerated). Ingame Ghost will often be found trolling the E-Uni chat channel, abusing his colleagues on Mumble or drunk in the dark seedy depths of Aldrat. Occasionally he has been known to interview candidates for EVE Uni and actually work for a living, but that is believed to be a nasty unscrupulous rumour with no substance.

IRL Ghost is originally from Bournemouth, England. He is ex-UK military, and also an ex-Airline Flight Operations Manager for a major UK based airline. He now works in IT, breaking computers and servers. During his military career Ghost saw combat ops in too many places and consequently developed a phobia of beach holidays due to many tours in sandy locations around the globe in recent times. He began to learn that sand reached bodily places nothing else could. Future holidays to the Balkans are also off the cards. Ghost has trained sarcasm, put downs and insults to Level 5 despite actually being a nice guy. (Editors note: Allegedly.) An unfortunate side effect of RL military combat ops is that when within the cosy confines of EVE, the PO Dept uses the phrase "incoming" to announce new Unistas, which often sees Ghost diving under a table screaming for air support! In his limited spare time, Ghost can be found playing drums for an unsigned Indie Rock band, or causing chaos around Scotland, where he now resides. He is determined to one day capture a live Haggis.